If only
by abbydepp
Summary: One-shot based in City of Ashes when Simon is about to rise from the dead. Alec and Magnus show up at the cemetery with blood. My first Malec story!


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters seen in this story. They belong to Cassandra Clare and so does the plot, the books belong to her. Also, some of the words spoken by the characters are directly from the book _City of Ashes. _No copyright intended.

_Raphael was tamping down a large rectangle of dirt when they came back into the clearing, Jace and Clary a little ahead of Magnus and Alec, who seemed to be arguing about something. _

_City of Ashes _page 201

Magnus saw with sadness as Alec's eyes lit up in a fire. His expression changing from happiness to sheer joy as he started to run. Magnus was about to call out to the boy with secrets but his words were cut off as he saw Jace and Clary, beside him. His golden hair gleaming out in the dark and Clary's fueled the fire, they seemed to be in a discussion, Magnus observed; watching how both Clary and Jace's eyes looked at each other with an extended loathing but also deep, painful loving. Both pairs of eyes looked up as Alec arrived, waving the blood around as if it were a white flag.

"Jace!" Alec screamed. The warlock increased his speed lightly to join the three. Then, he rolled his eyes; _as if that could get Alec's attention to look at him and not the straight man. If only,_ Magnus thought,_ if only things were different._ Alec continued, "I brought blood. Like you asked."

Jace stood up off the rock, took the bag from Alec, and peered in it, "Do I want to ask you where you got this?"

Magnus answered before Alec could, saying how they had gone the extra-mile and ask for blood from a butcher shop, he noticed Alec tense lightly at his voice. Magnus had to fight off an urge to intertwine their fingers, to relax him.

The golden haired man shrugged, before turning to Clary. They had a short conversation about how whether or not Clary was going to say away while Simon rose from the dead. Magnus watched Alec while they talked; watching to see if Alec could see the love the two, so obviously, shared. Alec didn't seem to notice his stare, however, he was only watching Jace.

The urge to grasp Alec's hand, to remind him that Magnus was here, was so intense that Magnus had to clinch his fist. Alec saw the clench and Magnus's stare as his eyes tightened. Jace and Clary started to walk back up the hill, towards where, Magnus guessed, Simon was buried.

"Magnus, don't do that." Alec hissed, his voice low as his blue eyes darted to Jace's retreating form. Just Jace, not Clary.

"Don't do what?" Magnus asked, speaking louder than, a small amount of anger swelling up in his chest.

Alec started to walk after Jace, "You know I'm not ready to tell anyone."

Magnus frowned at him, "Alexander, darling. I'm not used to just not acting like someone I'm dating is not actually who I'm dating."

"I know, Magnus." Alec still sounded angry. "Just try harder."

"I can think of a few things that I need to do harder and try is not one of them."

"That was very philosophical," Alec replied, "Wait. Was that supposed to be a sexual reference?"

Magnus mused as she started to follow Alec, "The irritation of your cluelessness annoys me, however, from the way your eyes narrow to figure out my words is cute."

"Don't call me cute." Alec said, walking slightly faster. Magnus just increased his speed, matching his stride easily.

"What would you like me to call you?" Magnus asked, "Adorable? Endearing? Desirable? Sexy?"

_"Magnus, no."_ The hatred in Alec's glare back at the warlock was something that Magnus had never seen. The shadowhunter's voice was reeked with malice and his eyes glinted in the way Jace's did- when he was lying to Clary about his feelings.

"Alexander, I was only joking." Magnus replied, surprised by the genuine hurt on Alec's features.

"Joke somewhere else." Alec snapped back as they reached the top of the hill. Magnus saw Isabelle seated on the ground, Jace leaning against a tree-trunk, and Clary and Raphael speaking to one another beside a rectangular shape of dirt that was higher than the rest of the Earth. Magnus figured it most be where Simon was laying.

"High Warlock," Raphael said, looking surprised, "I hadn't expected to see you here."

"I was curious. I've never seen one of the Night Children rise." Magnus replied, hiding his emotions from his former fighting with Alec.

Raphael turned to look at Jace, the vampire muttered something arrogant about himself again and Jace replied with a sarcastic remark. Magnus was hardly listening to them, he continued to stare at Alec. He wanted so badly to kiss his boyfriend. But not, for once, in the hiding but in the open where everyone could see. Where Jace could see.

Magnus took a small step towards Alec. Alec didn't look at the warlock, but his eyes did tighten- just slightly, but enough to make a significance. _I'm not in the mood, get away from me,_ the blue said without needing too.

"Maybe he meant me." Alec said and when everyone stared at him, he smiled nervously, "Sorry. Nerves."

"There's no need for that." _I'll protect you, if anything happens. _Although Clary's friend seemed to be normal, Magnus wouldn't take any chances. The warlock's hand reached out to touch Alec's shoulder. Alec moved away from his outstretched hand and hopelessly, Magnus thought _if only things were different. _

A/N: Thanks for reading!


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